9.13.2016

just keep swimming.

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Well Friends, Mercury Retrograde finally caught up with me and I'm choosing to see the light of the situation.

There's a person who was briefly in my life but they affected me on a Soul level. I would have never guessed that meeting them would eventually leave me spinning out of control not knowing which end was up. A series of events placed me right in the line of fire and I burned for well over a year.

In usual Merc Retro fashion, said person made an appearance and I had to make a choice. Do I engage my energy? Or do I keep my back turned and try my hardest to blend into my surroundings? I chose to blend and if I could have hid I would have.

There was just too much shared on a level that only Souls communicate. How do you face someone when you've shared deep words and then pretend like none of your time together ever happened?

This person's exist from my life was the start of my awakening, and the hardest thing that I have ever had to experience. The pain eventually went away but the longing is still there. One doesn't find a connection like that every day and when you get a taste of wholeness on a Soul level, that's a very hard thing to let go of. This was challenging to accept and to move on from. I don't know what life has in store for me but I'm hoping that one day I hope that I can find the peace that they seem to have found.

Where's the light in this you may ask? Well, because I was jolted awake, I've gone thru many reflective periods and have had to pick up the pieces of my shattered self. This isn't a quick process but one that needs much devotion. My journey on this planet is different than most and I've finally, after more than a decade accepted that. My path hasn't been straight, leading me from point A to point B. I've zig zagged my way thru the alphabet, jumping letters, repeating letters, and occasionally making a full circle right back around. I've lived in the same area my whole life, but tack a pedometer on my Soul and you'll see that I've walked many a step on this current spin around the sun. Life lessons, Soul lessons, these last few years have been filled with inner growth.

Because of my awakening I was given a chance to take a long hard look at myself and what I was allowing to enter my life. I've learned a big lesson that our talents and gifts are our purpose in life. I've learned to never ever allow myself to become tangled in another's shit again. And I've become aware of those who I should allow myself to interact with and those who I need to let walk on by.

Maybe it's because I grew up with a caring Mom who always put herself before others and tried to help them thru their challenges that I was ending up in these situation with people where I was expelling an exorbitant amount of my energy on people who left me feeling depleted, I've learned my lesson on when to walk away and how to stay unattached from a person before they get a chance to capture me in their net.

Big lessons are always the most painful to learn, but from this closure more light will shine in. This is just the beginning of my awakened journey.

Namaste.

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