shadows are cast.


Is anyone else feeling completely off their rocker lately? Shifting quickly from happy, hopeful emotions to dark and menacing ones?? The highs are high and the lows are low, but how rapidly they change is astonishing. And don't forget the exhaustion! Granted my work days are none stop go, go, go, from 7am to 3:30pm, it's leaving my mind and body drained. I feel my body wanting to shift away from eating healthy, my 80/20 rule worked great, but I want junk food. I'm not too interested in seeing another leaf on my plate for a while.


Raccoon has been showing up for me, in non physical form. It's rare for me to see raccoons on my drive to and from work, but over the past few weeks I've see four or five on the side of the highway, poor things turned into road kill. How does that affect the message?


My mind wants to jump but my body wants to stay still. I drink oodles of water and rest, not much else. I can't help it, as lame as this makes me feel, every molecule of my being wants rest.


In the past year four great people have moved on from my life. These are people who I connected with and who I will always cherish.

The first one to exit was the hardest for me to adjust to, and I still find myself wanting to reach out to them. However, my higher self knows that if I did I would end up feeling worse than I already do. If by some chance you read this, I watched 'Stranger Things' on Netflix, you'd like it.

The second one to exit was always there for me when energetically I was being beat down by another. She cared a lot and is a truly genuine human being. We connected instantly, and I still don't know how she was able to hold a smile on her face daily.

The third to leave was super fun to chat with and she was the first person I met who understood what it was like to be in battle with ones mind. She too is a work in progress, learning more about herself as she goes, and adjusting her thinking to become the person she wants to be.

The fourth to leave was a deep soul friend and I will never forget the first few instances that we spoke and both realized the divine connection between us. One can only wish happiness for their friends and of course I supported her choice to move on. We've had our ups and downs, but it's definetly strange knowing she's not in the next room anymore.


With these four people gone I'm no longer in the presence of others whom I connect with on deeper levels and that's leaving me feeling alone, stranded, vulnerable, bare. I do believe that one's ability to be alone is a strong point, but it's going to take some getting used to. Like a butterfly, sometimes one needs to stand alone in solitude before they become the person they are transforming into.

I sense this fall and winter being busy on my mind, but full of an inner emptiness. The dark night of the soul is in full force.



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