"What you seek is seeking you." - Rumi
I've read this quote many times before, but right now it's feeling especially delicious.
I feel like I've lived most of my life in a sheltered state. I've stayed close to home, never did anything 'bad'. I wake up, go to work, repeat. This year has brought about many realizations, there's so much that I don't know about life, about the world, and I'm feeling the urge to expand my awareness. My days don't consist of much, and tho I keep myself busy after work, my hobbies are pretty low key, yoga, reading, salad prep. There's more to life, and I want to see what that more is.
I could take a class, learn a new hobby, but no, I need something bigger. I need an adventure that's just for me. Something that when it's complete, I'm proud of myself for accomplishing it.
The last time I felt like this was the first time I hopped on a plane at twenty-two and jetted two provinces over, solo, to visit my cousin for the weekend. At that time it was a much needed escape from a life of hell with a horrible person, but I still look back and am astonished that I did it. I remember how scared I was to navigate the airport, to seat myself on a plane full of strangers, and then nervously make my way to baggage claim fingers crossed that my luggage was there waiting for me and not half way over the ocean headed to Hawaii. That was the first time I took a big adventure, just for myself.
Gosh, I need to feel that again.
The Universe has put something across my path that would be an ultimate adventure. It's big, it's drastic, and it's totally outside of my comfort zone. It requires dedication and planning, it requires vaccines, (which is the hardest part about this whole journey HA!), but yet it's something that I've been seeking for awhile now.
I have a map of the world hanging in my bedroom, and every day I look at it running thru my head the list of places I want to see. But I don't want the typical North American vacation, I've been there done that. I want to help, I want to create change. I want to partner with other people of like minds and spread some good in the world.
109World has got my mind racing.
Would it be possible?
It's a lot of money.
But would I ever regret spending money on an experience like this?
When I put into perspective where my money can go, where my money can take me, I never want to walk into a department store again, buying useless shit that I end up tossing in a year. I see where I was living my life 'asleep', focusing on what media and society was telling me to focus on. All this time I could have had many travels and done many great things, but alas, buying an eighth jacket that hangs unworn in my closet was more important. Oh fast fashion, you've become quite a demon in the world.
If I create a goal for myself, something amazing to focus on and achieve, I will be able to shift my mindset and get some worldly experiences added to my life resume.
Sounds freakin' great to me!
You may also enjoy reading the following posts by me:
I AM A PAINTER
WHAT I LEARNED FROM WATCHING STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON
A BEGINNER AT LIFE