I had a somewhat grumbly day, one Eeyore would be able to relate to. A different kind of energy swooped in today and was swirling words of self destruction and defeat. I tried to stay calm and take conscious breaths as much as possible, but Ego reigned and put me in a self sabotage type of head space.
I've tried knocking on so many doors over the past few years, each time putting forth passion and stress to try and open them. If something is meant to happen it shouldn't be stressful. It will require effort yes, but if it causes stress in your life it's time to let it go.
I'm hoping that realizing this about the creative endeavors that I've tried to pursue will bring some balance back to my mind. I'm willing to put in effort, but divine timing has always been a factor in everything that I do. I may want something for years, but it's not until the Universe has placed all the right pieces together will that door open.
Some may argue this and say to, 'Just do it, start already', but if the timing isn't right I literally feel Spirit holding me back from making that phone call or sending that email. I have to trust in that. The hardest part of my life's journey has been seeing others around me move forward while I feel like I'm in the same place as I've always been. Other's lives move at a quicker pace than mine, and to be honest I don't have the energy to keep up with much of society. I enjoy simple, relaxed living.
I have to believe that Spirit is leading me somewhere, and is working behind the scenes on my behalf. I receive many messages that I've started to write down and keep in a notebook for reference at a later time. These messages are so specific that they have to result in something being created in my life. I believe it to be true.
As I was walking out the door after my day of work, a co-worker stopped me to say that he stumbled upon a place over the weekend that reminded him of me. This instantly changed my mood, shifting me out of gloom and right into the Light. He described to me a place that is exactly what I want, a space where I can share the inspiration that I find from others. I believe his words to be divinely timed because he was supposed to be off all this week, and hadn't been in all day, but for some reason, just as I was walking past his desk to leave, there he was, with a gifted message for me.
On my drive home I then had an a-ha moment. In order to pursue this dream, taking some form of schooling isn't feeling right. Then I thought, what if this change in job, which is requiring me to learn a new area of running a business, is divinely timed by the Universe? What would happen if I started to look at this work situation as a gift of knowledge and experience, instead of the annoyance that it has been over these past few weeks of training?
When I got home I saw this amazing message on my instagram feed. Wow.
The Universe works so hard at arranging events that us humans are not aware of. For all I know, the Universe is out there right now lining up those of like mind who will help me along my way. My job for right now is to hold the vision, and that, I can do.