I feel caught between two lives, both of which are mine, but one I'm exiting and the other I'm entering.
I see a vision of myself balancing on a tight rope with my old life to the left and my new life to the right. I know that I am experiencing my ascension journey, and this part of it is using all the energy I can muster to get thru my day. By the early evening exhaustion has taken over and my eyes are forced shut for a much needed nap.
Spirit is still being silent and not showing me anything about my future. Perhaps I need to go thru this period of release first? Allow the old to leave so that space can be created for the new. I've been hearing that 2017 is going to be a 'Yes Year' and to bring myself to that point there's a lot of reprogramming and shedding of layers that needs to take place. I wouldn't consider myself a negative person, (after the past few weeks some may say otherwise), I'm more someone who calls bullshit when I see it. Because I have a tendency to speak up and out, I can see how that could come across as negative to those who don't like hearing the truth, which is what I'm really speaking. What I say isn't a lie, it's fact. Many don't like hearing the cold, hard, facts.
I've always been a quiet person. Due to childhood experiences with other kids who would shut me down, I've shoved my voice deep down within myself and I'm effing done with that. Something has happened to me since turning thirty-two, I no longer want to carry around these painful stories and experiences from my past. They've affected me for over three decades and I'm done hauling that load, I just want to be the real me.
I'm practicing using my voice, and it's not working out in the best way :) Or I should say, it's not working out in the quietest way. I can go from zero to ten pretty quickly with the look of shock on peoples faces. Eff 'em. What I'm saying is true, they can't deny it. I'm using my voice to state my views, opinions, ask for help, and to tell people 'No'. This is definitely a part of my journey in bringing my authentic self to the table.
I've been reading up on the ascension process, and yep, I'm experiencing it. I'm sensitive to energy as it is, and this is messing with my energy even more. I'm trying to practice self love and be kind with myself, no to-do lists or added pressure. If the laundry doesn't get done this week then so be it, that's a very 3rd dimensional task anyway and ascending into the 5th is much more important :)
Things are feeling kind of heavy, the air feels heavy, I feel heavy and weighed down, almost like a pressure is pushing me down onto the Earth, and no, I don't mean gravity :) There's a heaviness over on this side of the world, things are being stirred up, there's much darkness over the land. I'm trying to keep myself in a positive mindset and in a few more weeks I should start to settle in to the new flow. It will be weird for a bit, but I'm trusting that this is all for a greater purpose.
Ok, that's it. Namaste.