7.14.2016

change shines light.


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Yesterday as I sat at my 'nothing' job listening to a fellow coworker talk about signing up for her university classes I realized that all this time I've equated a degree with a happier life.

For years I've connected a degree and career title to happiness and more life fulfillment. My realization on top of this realization, is that this just isn't true. Living in a 3D world I was lead to believe that one graduates high school, goes to university, and becomes something. I never went to university or obtained a degree, and for over a decade I have felt like I was lacking. Felt like I would only feel real happiness when I achieved a career title for myself.

Every day I am surrounded by people who have degrees and those who don't. We co-mingle together, working as a team for the same ultimate goal, we are each part of the company's puzzle.  The only difference between us is money, and money doesn't buy happiness or life fulfillment.

As I walk thru the halls and offices of my workplace it's easy to see that those with degrees don't seem any happier than those that work the 'nothing' jobs. Objects and experiences don't create lasting happiness inside one's self, that's a choice we each need to consciously make regardless of our credentials.  If you are capable of happiness without the monster of money, then you truly know what life is all about.

I'm now understanding that art school didn't happen for me because it wasn't meant to, it wasn't part of my path. I texted a friend to tell her that I think I'm supposed to give the art thing up, and she replied that she just doesn't think I've met the right people yet. As I read her reply I heard, 'No, it's not for me.'

- - -

My disillusionment with people has been verified yet again, and it's not until I cut myself out of that spider's web that I was able to see it.

My experience with energy vampires has always been with people who are mean and pure evil, so I didn't even see this one coming. My most recent energy vampire is a shining cherub of a human who's life I got sucked right into. The thoughts, feelings, and emotions that they were experiencing in their life were being transferred right onto me and I was being affected negatively. This is the third person in the last few years who I gave a lot of myself and my energy to, who I cared about, and who wasn't making me feel good.

Everything happens for a reason, right, and I hope that this is a lesson that I've learned. Do not allow another to become the focus of your life Richelle.

- - -

Because we live in a world of social media, horrors that occur around the globe are broadcast to our devices in mere minutes. Every horrific event now comes with it's own hashtag and symbolic image which goes viral. I have mixed feelings about social media, I see the good side and the bad. What I'm hoping is that by bringing these acts of hate to the attention of the masses we will wake up and realize that we have been living in a 3D world which is no longer beneficial to us. In an instant we are able to see what is occurring to our fellow human beings across the globe and can choose change. 

I hope and pray that Love wins, and that we all shift our thoughts and words so that we may live in peace.

Namaste.

7.12.2016

ascension.


I feel caught between two lives, both of which are mine, but one I'm exiting and the other I'm entering.

I see a vision of myself balancing on a tight rope with my old life to the left and my new life to the right. I know that I am experiencing my ascension journey, and this part of it is using all the energy I can muster to get thru my day. By the early evening exhaustion has taken over and my eyes are forced shut for a much needed nap. 

Spirit is still being silent and not showing me anything about my future. Perhaps I need to go thru this period of release first? Allow the old to leave so that space can be created for the new. I've been hearing that 2017 is going to be a 'Yes Year' and to bring myself to that point there's a lot of reprogramming and shedding of layers that needs to take place. I wouldn't consider myself a negative person, (after the past few weeks some may say otherwise),  I'm more someone who calls bullshit when I see it. Because I have a tendency to speak up and out, I can see how that could come across as negative to those who don't like hearing the truth, which is what I'm really speaking. What I say isn't a lie, it's fact. Many don't like hearing the cold, hard, facts.

I've always been a quiet person. Due to childhood experiences with other kids who would shut me down, I've shoved my voice deep down within myself and I'm effing done with that. Something has happened to me since turning thirty-two, I no longer want to carry around these painful stories and experiences from my past. They've affected me for over three decades and I'm done hauling that load, I just want to be the real me.

I'm practicing using my voice, and it's not working out in the best way :) Or I should say, it's not working out in the quietest way. I can go from zero to ten pretty quickly with the look of shock on peoples faces. Eff 'em. What I'm saying is true, they can't deny it. I'm using my voice to state my views, opinions, ask for help, and to tell people 'No'. This is definitely a part of my journey in bringing my authentic self to the table.

I've been reading up on the ascension process, and yep, I'm experiencing it. I'm sensitive to energy as it is, and this is messing with my energy even more. I'm trying to practice self love and be kind with myself, no to-do lists or added pressure. If the laundry doesn't get done this week then so be it, that's a very 3rd dimensional task anyway and ascending into the 5th is much more important :)

Things are feeling kind of heavy, the air feels heavy, I feel heavy and weighed down, almost like a pressure is pushing me down onto the Earth, and no, I don't mean gravity :) There's a heaviness over on this side of the world, things are being stirred up, there's much darkness over the land.  I'm trying to keep myself in a positive mindset and in a few more weeks I should start to settle in to the new flow. It will be weird for a bit, but I'm trusting that this is all for a greater purpose.

Ok, that's it. Namaste.

7.06.2016

i know i can.


I'm starting to think about what I see for myself and the years ahead. I know that there is still some time before my vision manifests, and I've been asking myself what I want to do with that time. Everyone around me seems to be popping out their second or third kid, and I'm just sitting in my backyard enjoying the sunshine, feeling lame that I'm not choosing the same path as most of society.

Spirit spoke to me today and said that I have been given the gift of time. Spirit said to use this time to research, gain knowledge, and pin point what I want my vision to look like.  Spirit let me know that every little bit of effort that I put forth now, will help me in the long run. I will know what I want my vision to look like and will have weeded out all doubts. If I use my time in this way I will be ahead of the game, having figured out exactly what I want means that I will be ready to go when the time is right. Cool!

There's a lot that I need to learn as this is all new territory for me, and even tho I'm an impatient person, what Spirit said is right, and it's making me feel at ease as many around me are moving and shaking, and I'm feeling like I'm standing still. Why not take these next few years to change my mindset, bring forth to the surface that which is deep down inside. I'm going to need it in order to take on my dream vision, and it's going to take some self love and reprogramming of my thoughts to bring it up from the depths.

When Spirit speaks it's a powerful thing, and after a few gloomy days, again I've burst forth into the Light.

Namaste.

7.04.2016

believing is seeing.


I had a somewhat grumbly day, one Eeyore would be able to relate to.  A different kind of energy swooped in today and was swirling words of self destruction and defeat.  I tried to stay calm and take conscious breaths as much as possible, but Ego reigned and put me in a self sabotage type of head space.

I've tried knocking on so many doors over the past few years, each time putting forth passion and stress to try and open them. If something is meant to happen it shouldn't be stressful. It will require effort yes, but if it causes stress in your life it's time to let it go.

I'm hoping that realizing this about the creative endeavors that I've tried to pursue will bring some balance back to my mind. I'm willing to put in effort, but divine timing has always been a factor in everything that I do. I may want something for years, but it's not until the Universe has placed all the right pieces together will that door open.

Some may argue this and say to, 'Just do it, start already', but if the timing isn't right I literally feel Spirit holding me back from making that phone call or sending that email. I have to trust in that. The hardest part of my life's journey has been seeing others around me move forward while I feel like I'm in the same place as I've always been. Other's lives move at a quicker pace than mine, and to be honest I don't have the energy to keep up with much of society. I enjoy simple, relaxed living.

I have to believe that Spirit is leading me somewhere, and is working behind the scenes on my behalf. I receive many messages that I've started to write down and keep in a notebook for reference at a later time. These messages are so specific that they have to result in something being created in my life. I believe it to be true.

As I was walking out the door after my day of work, a co-worker stopped me to say that he stumbled upon a place over the weekend that reminded him of me. This instantly changed my mood, shifting me out of gloom and right into the Light. He described to me a place that is exactly what I want, a space where I can share the inspiration that I find from others. I believe his words to be divinely timed because he was supposed to be off all this week, and hadn't been in all day, but for some reason, just as I was walking past his desk to leave, there he was, with a gifted message for me.

So grateful.

On my drive home I then had an a-ha moment. In order to pursue this dream, taking some form of schooling isn't feeling right. Then I thought, what if this change in job, which is requiring me to learn a new area of running a business, is divinely timed by the Universe?  What would happen if I started to look at this work situation as a gift of knowledge and experience, instead of the annoyance that it has been over these past few weeks of training?

Hmmm.

When I got home I saw this amazing message on my instagram feed. Wow.


Source

The Universe works so hard at arranging events that us humans are not aware of. For all I know, the Universe is out there right now lining up those of like mind who will help me along my way. My job for right now is to hold the vision, and that, I can do.

Namaste Friends.

7.03.2016

much on the brain.




Source

I think things are shifting again.

I need to be honest and upfront with myself. 

I feel like I'm holding onto 'the art thing' and it's creating a block in which I'm not able to move forward.

All my life I've wanted to be an artist. I didn't get the opportunity to attend art school and I've been carrying that story for years, clinging to it in fear. Fear of letting myself down. Fear of not feeling accomplished and successful. Fear of others being right.

I'm beginning to wonder what would enter my life if I let this go

I'm a creative person and art will always be in my life, but to be super honest with myself, nothing has come from it.  One of the reasons nothing has come from it is because I can't seem to find myself regularly in the right head space necessary to push forward down that path. I'm being halted and there's got to be a reason why.

If I just accept that the title of 'artist' isn't my door to walk thru, what would show up to take it's place?

I'm kinda interested to see.

---

A new realization that I've had is how disillusioned I become with the people in my life. When I meet someone with whom I feel a connection somehow my life becomes all about them, and they don't even know it.

The Universe is continuing to wake me up to ways that no longer serve me.  Everyone is fallible, and I see it now.  I see how the ones that I've become engrossed in the most are just as fucked up as anyone.

They live in a continuous vortex that spins around them and I get sucked right in. These people are so very asleep to the 'ways of the Universe' and can't grasp what I truly mean by those words. Maybe I'm drawn to them because of my internal yearning to support others in their life? I keep giving out advice to those who I thought were seeking it, but time and time again I'm starting to see that they disregard what I have to say and were just looking for someone to vent to.

These people continue in the same cycle, they tell me about their challenges over and over again, and over and over again they disregard my words of advice. This is incredibly draining to me. I feel like I'm over extending my energy to people who are just looking for someone to listen to them complain about their lives and aren't really interested in taking any steps to change it.

There are a few people in my life who are taking advantage of my easily available ear and I've reached a point where my extension of kindness is causing me hurt. For the past several weeks Spirit has been telling me to reel back my eagerness to offer encouragement, and recently a situation occurred which has caused me to fully awaken to these people's true intentions with me and I've had to make a firm decision to be done with them in that regard.

I've offered all the words that I can, I've listened for the last time, and I'm being told that these people need to fall down and pick themselves back up in order to learn their life lessons. It's true that you can only tell someone something so many times before you must stop altogether and leave them to their own ways. I need to accept and see this for what it is.

I want to manifest new relationships with people who are experiencing soul journey's of growth and self discovery. People who are needing someone to turn to for support. I'm not sure in which way I can go about this, but I'm throwing that seed out into the ether.

- - -

Right now I'm at a place where I need some solitude and silence to allow these changes and new energies to settle in. Meditation is calling out to me, and I'm being shown that I need to start making it a daily practice even for only 20 minutes. Yoga has been non existent since the beginning of the month, and now that I have a renovated outdoor space I'm going to bring my mat outside where I can stretch it out in the fresh air and sunshine. I'm also being directed to walk barefoot as much as possible, something I rarely do as my feet are always freezing. I'm supposed to throw the shoes to the side and feel Mother Gaia, connecting to her grounding energy.

There's so much more that I'm going thru in terms of release and shedding of old layers. Feelings of loneliness are coming up for me and I would like a tribe of like minds to communicate with. I'm working thru some fear and uncertainty about my future, sensing that a big acceptance and release is in order. I know that the little changes I've made in my eating habits and keeping an open mind to the idea of minimalism is all helping me along my journey.

I've really been contemplating the meaning to my life lately and why I have a standard for which Ego keeps telling me I need to live up to. Does sitting outside enjoying nature and sunshine every day of your life not equate a life well lived? Are these labels obtained by money and years of schooling to obtain a degree really creating people who live lives better than those who experience the opposite? Does working a 9 to 5 desk job mean that those with said fate aren't using their time on this planet in the best way possible? Can someone be truly happy with a job that is 'just a job', or does happiness only come from self employment?

Lot's of these types of questions have been swirling around my brain. I know that we create our own realities, but what if I'm really okay with the job that I'm at? I would really like a reprieve from Ego telling me that I should be 'doing more with myself'', and for now I want to be happy with where I am. There's not a single job title out there that fits who I am and what I want to offer the world anyway, and it's time to stop looking. It's time to accept that for now there is no societal label that I fit under, so why keep listening to Ego and continue to stress about it? Maybe I was placed on this planet to be exactly where I am?

Life ebbs and flows and I continue to push forward. I want these next two months to be about resting, relaxing, and allowing myself to feel comfort in the changes that are occurring withing. I want to work on allowing, letting go, and releasing myself from that which no longer serves me.  I want to gain self acceptance of who I am, somewhat narrowing my tunnel vision in that area so that I gain a firm hold on what feels right for me and my life. There are still some things to work thru and figure out and as I get older I realize that we are all works in progress.

Wishing you all Peace and Light.

Namaste.