making a choice to release.

I've been in a period of ebb.

Learning a new job has used up my extra brain power and my body is really relishing in moments of quiet and extra rest. I've had much down time over these past few weeks, choosing to focus on reading, tidying up the house, painting, and just being. I'm finding comfort in curling up with a cozy blanket and resting my head. It's funny how life is like that, even when your brain may be telling you to go, your inner voice speaks louder letting you know that it's time for some soulful rest.

Things have shifted for me in some of my relationships.

I've noticed just how entranced I become with people that I feel a connection with. This causes me to take the focus off what matters in my life and solely focus my energy on them. Not good. Last year was a big eye opener and really showed me that I need to never do this again. If I become wrapped up in anyone it should be in myself, and supporting myself in being the best that I can be.

I tend to be the one who listens to another's endless tales of woe. Whats super frustrating is that I listen to their same tale over and over again, always about things in their life that they aren't willing to put forth the effort to change, but instead keep complaining about. I'll be honest and admit that for a large part of my life I was the one reciting the woeful tale, but I now see the error of my ways and no longer want to partake in this output of negative energy whether it is mine or another's.

This past week I randomly mentioned to a coworker about my dreams of one day owning a business. He was surprised, but was genuinely supportive and excited for me, which actually brought tears to my eyes. It's rare for me to have someone actually stop and ask me questions about my life. I don't have many people around me, and not many to share in my joys and excitements, so this bit of interest in my life really touched my heart. Even tho the convo lasted for just a few short minutes it was nice to have someone acknowledge me in that way instead of me being the one listening, supporting, and offering advice.

I like to help people and pass on knowledge if I can, but Spirit is still instructing me to hold back and not extend my energy. I've caught myself offering up bits of wisdom that like usual, falls on deaf ears. I've read some really great books that I've wanted to share with friends, but have halted myself, keeping my energy within instead of emptying my reserves. Everyone has the same ability to seek out information just as I do and if they truly want to change then they need to seek out how to do so themselves. It's a choice that they need to make and follow thru with.

One day I will have a platform where people looking for help will seek me out, and I will be there with an arsenal of healing tips, tricks, and advice. Spirit is continuing to share with me and I am collecting all of my findings for when the time is right. I fully believe in my purpose and know that it will help humanity.


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