5.23.2016

i will not give up who i am for your way of thinking.

Source


I've spoken of the many realizations that I've had thus far, and they are continuing :) 

Over the years many different lifestyles have resonated with me, raw food, vegan-ism, tiny houses, yoga, meditation, minimalism, etc. In the past I've jumped wholeheartedly into whatever came across my path, only to find myself releasing it a short while later. I now see why. More than half the battle of living a lifestyle that resonates with me has been with my mind. Being an Aries, when I want something, I want it now. This doesn't always work well with my reality. I fully believe that divine timing is a real 'thing', and that it is having a huge impact on my life's journey.

I'm going thru a phase of unlearning, questioning all that I was lead to believe and was told to be true. 

I don't believe that I was regularly supported in following what felt true for me. I was compared to others, told that my way was not right, that I needed to be doing what they were doing. This has had a detrimental impact on me, especially once social media came around and I could easily see the lives of others. For several years now I have been looking to others, trying to implement their way into my life. This has resulted in feelings of confusion and failure, and of course never ended up working for me. The people that I look to stand strong in who they are, and do life their way. Why can't I do that for myself too?

This year is turning out to be one where I grab hold of who I am, and stand strong in that knowing, regardless if others don't understand.

What I want for my life is to love myself and who I am. I want to love every day of my journey no matter where I am and what I am doing. If I wake up on a Sunday morning and spend the whole day reading a book in the sun, then I want to be ok with that, no, I want to love that, because that is what is right for me. If I want to step back from society and 'live simply' in this chaotic world, then that's what I know is right for me, and is what I need to be doing. I need to follow my Higher Self's guidance, and not the words of others.

I'm making changes to avoid taking on the energy, thoughts, and emotions of others, so that I can live my life happily. 

I want to live consciously, and make choices that are right for me. If you don't understand that, it's a moot point really, because what I'm doing shouldn't matter to you, and what you are doing doesn't matter to me. That may sound like I'm insensitive, but I no longer believe that's the case.

For thirty-two years I have felt like the odd ball out, the weird one, the one with kooky ideas that no one understands. And you know what, I've always been okay with that. But I've carried around the weight of others who felt negatively towards my choice in lifestyle. Today I release it. I say, 'Fuck you all', in a nice way :) No longer will I carry your shit.

I have put in so much time and effort to finding my voice, and becoming acquainted and accepting of it, that I'm no longer willing to give yours any power over me. Think what you want, say what you want, I don't care. I'll be sitting in the sun enjoying a good book, while you are wasting your energy griping over me.

People need to wake up. 

We need to wake up to the lies we are being fed, the brainwashing that has occurred to us since our birth, to the backwards way of 'living'. As much as I want to help you, I'm still being told by Source to focus my energy on myself right now. Everyone has access to information, and it's part of your own soul's journey to seek it.

Today the air feels fresh. This is going to be a great summer.

Namaste.

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