4.29.2016

new sense of self.


Another Mercury Retrograde is upon us and I am truly looking forward to it. 

These retrogrades used to freak me out, putting me on edge, expecting disaster to strike. Now I see them as time to step back, relax, and take some deep, soulful, reflective breaths.

Living in a technological age means that I receive my messages from Spirit via things like instagram, pinterest, youtube, and netflix. Earlier in the week a documentary about a fashion designer caught my eye and I was prompted to watch it tonight as I cozied up on the couch with a blanket. 

I had never heard of Jeremy Scott before, but I have seen the Adidas kicks with wings that he designs. His clothing is a bit too over the top for this hippie to wear, but I truly appreciate his sense of self and his determination to push forward no matter how many people criticize his creations.

When I was a young kid I used to watch Fashion Television every Saturday. I loved it! It's not so much that I was into fashion, but I loved the art form. I loved seeing big, colourful, crazy looking designs strutting down the run way. I loved that the designers spent hours, days, weeks, months, putting together a show from scratch. It's such a commitment of time, energy, hard work, and focus. The collections that may be considered 'ugly' or 'unfashionable' were my favorite. Those were the collections where the designer went all out, staying true to their self.

It takes guts and courage to show your Soul to the world. 

With the ease of the internet and social media artists are utilizing these tools to create their very own run way of work. It really is intimidating for me to take a photo of a work in progress and post it on the internet. All of social media allows for instantaneous critic and you never know what people will say. For the most part I find people to be supportive and it's helped me continue to wage the internal war with Ego. I am a super private person, and sharing my art is sharing a piece of me that no one even knows exists. As I continue to use social media to document my painting journey I am feeling more comfortable with standing next to my work and saying 'Yes, this is me, this is who I am.' 

Jeremy Scott grew up in rural Kansas and he has taken over the world, all because he followed the call from Spirit. Watching his documentary helped me see that this period in my life truly is a starting point to walking the path that I so badly wanted to walk over a decade ago. For years I held onto and replayed the story about why I didn't attend art school. I felt sadness, anger, and frustration. Now I find myself  at a place of acceptance and peace.

Healing takes time.

Going thru this was meant to be part of my journey. Because of this I know who I am, I know what I want, and I'm going after it. 

Namaste.

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