3.28.2016

sketckbook thirteen - mined from my heart.

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"Mine your life for information."
- Flora Bowley

I heard a wonderful talk with Flora Bowley while she was being interview for Wild and Creative on youtube. They were discussing Flora's teaching process and how she teaches her students to look at their lives, what they are interested in, what their hobbies are, who they are as a person, and then use that info to create their own art.

As I have been debating my use of feathers in my art I have also been pondering what makes me, me.

What do I love?

What do I gravitate towards?

What images and marks can I add to my pieces that are truly pulled straight from my heart and soul?

It's no surprise to those that know me, that I love India. 

I am drawn to the spirituality, the colours, the people, the food, the ancient history. India has a piece of my heart and one day I will visit that land. I wanted to challenge myself and try something new in my sketchbook that I haven't attempted for a very long time. I wanted to create a portrait. Immediately I thought of a Yogi from India.

The piece above took me a few hours to complete and I really enjoyed the process. Faces have always been a challenge for me, however, I've realized that I don't need to create an identical portrait to what I see in the photograph. I can create this portrait however I want, as detailed as I want, and in whatever colours and mediums that I want.

I kept my colour palette simple, and as you can see, white was heavily prevalent :) I used lots of different mediums; acrylic, pastel, charcoal, pencil, spray paint, and india ink. I see some small tweakings that could take place, but for the most part I'm happy with it.

It's so funny how in my previous post I was pondering where feathers would take me, and here I went in a completely different direction :)

I started this piece on a black page, and I highly recommend you try this if you also suffer from 'fear of the blank canvas'. Instead of starting off in fear of getting it 'wrong', the black completely removes those thoughts and feelings and allows me to just being.

I'm popping over to pinterest to gather some inspiration :)

Namaste friends.

3.27.2016

sketchbook twelve - and a studio name.

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For the second time lotus decided to come out and play

I really like these shapes. Each one ends up being unique. I start with one petal and am shown where to draw the next and the next. When I start drawing one, I never know if it will end up having five petals or ten. I draw until the lotus tells me to stop.

I've been thinking about this process. I used to think that lines in artwork had to be perfectly straight, but I love the free form flow, and how everything ends up a little jarred and irregular. Just like life.

Teal is speaking to me and I'm finding myself drawn to differing shades of blues. Even in crystals, I've been wearing lapis lazuli and azurite. I'm working on my throat chakra and finding my voice, and it makes sense that this is coming out in my artwork.

I'm also enjoying playing with aerosol paint and love how a shot of white spray paint softens up dark black line work. Soft paintings pull me in and I like quieting down a piece simply by hitting it with some white.

I've been thinking about the images that show up in artists work. As I research artists I see that they all have several images which repeatedly show up in their pieces. I've been looking at my feathers as a negative, mainly because I want to challenge myself and grow, and not become stuck. But as I stumble across more and more artists via instagram and youtube, I see that they all repeat the same images or patterns in all of their work. These images may show up in different colours or different sizes, but they are all the same.

This has left me wondering, where can I go with these feathers?

If I were to fully embrace the images that show themselves to me, which are unique to my process, where would they take me?


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This is a painting that I created a year ago. This painting stands out to me the most out of all of my pieces because I was fully in the flow of creativity when I painted it. I can't even tell you how this painting was created, it just happened. This painting only has a few layers of paint on it, and for a large painting, it came together so quickly and effortlessly, that when I look at it I still wonder how I did that. Tho I have tried several times over to re-create it, my brain has not been able to re-create another piece like it again.

During the creation of this piece I didn't dispute the feathers that wanted to show up. I didn't dispute the yellow that wanted to be prevalent, and I didn't question or object to any part of it. I just let it be.

I don't know why feathers have chosen me to create them, but after reading Big Magic and letting those words really sink into my being, I truly believe that's how it works.

An artist doesn't choose the images to work with, creativity brings the images to the artist. 

That's a huge thought to ponder, and can be a big turning point for any creative.

Why are some people potters? Why do others paint still life's? Why are others photographers?

Creativity showed up in their life and said, "Hey you, this is what you are going to work with."

Maybe for me that's feathers. Hmmmmmm.

I've been enjoying watching Beck Lane's videos. I like her art, her process, and her thoughts on the art of painting. She's helping me to take this art thing more seriously in order to achieve my goals. I'm just starting out, but I'm proud of myself for committing to practicing painting regularly. Beck is helping me to think of my art space as a studio and not just an art room. To make this even more real, I've decided to name my space.

Studio 9x10.

That's a name that has been standing out to me for a while. It's simple. It's the dimensions of the space that I work in. Nine feet by ten feet. Small, but full of possibilities. A space that I have always dreamed of having, a space that I am thankful to have.

Namaste.

3.25.2016

sketchbook eleven - lotus flower.

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Like many, I've always loved the lotus flower. The fact that something so beautiful grows out of the muck is such a hopeful thought.

Inner growth isn't always a simple and tidy process. 

Witnessing these lotuses emerge on the page was a reminder to me that I am beginning to take hold of life. To be honest, I'm taking hold of my true self. I'm figuring out who I am, and what I want. I've been quieting the voices of others and learning to stand strong in my gut feelings. Finally, I'm accepting that I'm not like everyone else, and that I never have been.

I recently listened to a podcast by Whitney Freya and despite the focus of the podcast being centered around growing your business, I took this advice and was able to apply it to my life. The key point to this podcast was realizing your personality and working with what felt comfortable to you. An example, maybe you are a painter who is shy, and you don't like big crowds. You don't enjoy walking into galleries and asking them to look at your work. Maybe you feel more comfortable when people are at a distance and the online community is your cup of tea.

Now look to the online community, what tools are online that will help you advertise and sell your work? Well, there's blogging, instagram, society6, facebook, etc, etc. The podcast said that you should be doing what feels comfortable to you. If the thought of walking into galleries and asking them to view your work makes you sick to your stomach, then you aren't going to do that, resulting in that method clearly not working for you. The podcast emphasized focusing your energy where it's going to be beneficial for your business, and if that's the online community, then go there!

This podcast resulted in me looking back thru my life, as far as kindergarten, and seeing just how different I was from the kids around me. For all of my life I have tried to fit in, even when I strongly felt that I didn't. When someone would ask me about my different ways of doing things it made me feel like something was wrong with me. How could something that came naturally to me be wrong? It's sad that society doesn't support the 'different' ones as much as the 'normal' ones. Why can't acceptance be spread to everyone no matter who they are? 

All throughout school I knew that I was different. For the most part this didn't bother me, unless someone brought it up, then I'd feel like something was wrong with me. This really came about strongly in my adult years when hubs and I were first together.

We met when we were 21 and 22. Both his older sister and younger brother were married and in baby mode. At the time I didn't want to get married ever, or for a verrrrrrry long time, and kids was not something that I wanted at all. I spent years inside my head wondering why I didn't want that life that they wanted, that so many want. We did get married, but it had to be on my terms and when I felt comfortable, none of this getting engaged and then married a year later business, which many didn't understand.

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I have stumbled across these words numerous times on pinterest, but when I saw them again this week they meant so much more to me. 

I feel like I have been floating thru life. I start down one path, then try another, and another. Not really accomplishing anything. Because just like that podcast said, I've been trying to do things that aren't me and of course it's not been working out. I've not been following what's true to me.

One thing that did happen from this wandering is that I've found myself back at art. As much as I know that releasing and letting go is part of my lesson in this lifetime, art and spirituality has always made it's way back to me.

Art is where my mind has always wandered. 

For over a decade that's what I've wanted. Now that I actually feel like an adult and have managed to overcome my need to please others, without feeling guilty for doing things in a different way than they want, I am starting from scratch with art. My lotus painting is page eleven in my sketchbook. A very auspicious number! To be honest I'm shocked that I've made it that far as I tend to give up or push too quickly thru the process wanting the end result now! 

A part of me feels too old to be starting painting, but I know that's ego being a little biotch and trying to take me down before I even get a real start. I've stepped away from the canvas for now, and am encouraging myself to just play. This isn't easy for me, as I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I've realized a process that works and allows me to get into a happy, creative flow.

These past few months have been one realization after another. 

Weekly I'm learning oodles of new things about myself that are helping me move forward into the person that I really am. Another realization that I had about art is that I am overflowing with creative ideas, but I get stuck at the technical aspect. I haven't had any training in painting and truly don't know how to use these tools, I'm just winging it. If there's one thing that I plan to do this year it's take a painting class. It would be nice to have a teacher to talk to about techniques and tips and tricks. I'm going to throw that into the vortex and see what is returned me :)

Namaste friends.

3.22.2016

sketchbook ten.

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This is my most recent sketchbook piece. I have a process with abstracts. I start off with a pencil or pastel and make scribbly marks. From there I may add some oil or chalk pastel, dabs of colored paint, and then layers of white.

White. I can't seem to get rid of it.

This picture doesn't convey what the image truly looks like, but I'm drawn to the cloud-like quality of white paint built up in layers. I like seeing little bits of colorful marks showing thru, and I like covering up that which isn't pleasing to my eye.

I always thought that I painted delicately, but this process is showing me that my marks are quick creating dark lines that have been applied with lots of pressure. I have to consciously lighten my grip on my pencil or pastel to lighten up my lines.

I always had a fear of sketchbooks. In junior high and high school, I preferred not to use them. Instead I would leave them empty until we were required to hand them in for marking, in which case I would fill pages with randomness. The fear I feel towards them is that I will create a 'masterpiece' and it's just in my sketchbook.

A sketchbook to me has always been meant for scribbling. One's good work should be left for the canvas. With that kind of thinking no wonder I didn't make good use of my sketchbooks in school! I am working on changing this good-for-nothing thought pattern. This is my tenth piece in my sketchbook and I'm proud of myself for embracing it and shifting my thoughts from ones of fear to positivity.

I've been keeping a written journal of my art ideas. I'm also dialogueing with myself about my process. Things like why I think what I do, things that I need to release, and future ideas that I want to try. Today I learned that I feel art should be hard. As I dialogued back and forth with myself I realized that there is a warped thought pattern in my brain that keeps telling me only good art should be hard to create, not easy. It should take a long time to create, not one evening, and images of my typical feathers aren't complex enough to be called good art.

WTF.

Not sure where this came from. It's interesting what one will find out when they are willing to delve deep.

A friend suggested I put the paint aside and create some simple sketches of images that I like. Plants, houses, birds, horses, whatever. Maybe this will open my mind up to other possible images that I can incorporate into my pieces.

I recently found Beck Lane who shares much valued information about her own process as well as advice to other artists. Beck has been painting for years, and I have just started out on my painting journey, but her videos have helped me to rethink my process. Hearing her say that she sometimes listens to the same song on repeat excited me because I do that too! It helps me get into that zone.

She starts her paintings off by painting thick black marks across her canvas. This reminded me of my process where I start off by using pencil or charcoal to make black marks on my page.

Beck really emphasizes that your piece needs to be created with an intention. I haven't been doing that and I think it's tripping me up. I start my piece with the first mark, can envision an end point, but get lost in layers and layers of middle ground. I realize now that this is happening because I'm not giving myself a direction. This lack of intention is causing me to keep spinning with no end in sight. I'm going to spend some time with this and see what would work for me, see how I can add some intention to my creations.

Namaste.

3.19.2016

seeds of hope.

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This week has been one of deep inner growth. 

I have been thinking about my future, present, and past. I feel like I'm at a stage in life where I need to make some decisions and changes. I have taken a few years off to rest my soul and now I need to make a decision in direction. I've been having many revelations among moments of release, and have come to the conclusion that I need to pursue painting as my gift to the world.

I've struggled these past few years with identifying myself as a painter. I've allowed fear and my 'un-qualifications' to step in and keep me from fully embracing that title regardless of my ability. But now, after many inner conversations with self, and Source, I am ready for the task.

I am ready to take some steps backwards, in order to move fully forward on my path. 

For a while I was seeing these steps backwards as a negative. I felt that I have waited far long enough and need to plow full steam ahead already (!) However, I have managed to delete that negative thought from my brain and replace it with a much more positive one. Instead, I am seeing this as a chance to research, learn, and experiment, most importantly play.

I feel like Source has placed me in school again. Placed me directly into the university art class that I always dreamed of attending. I'd like to have tried the university life, but this is the way that is working for me where I'm at now.

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter.
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here.
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun.
And I say, it's alright.
-The Beatles 

A few days ago I stumbled across a girl playing this song on her ukulele and it struck something within me. The energy in and around me has been all over the place, but I sense a shift, a shift into something great.

Here comes the sun...it's alright. 

I feel this to be true. This past year has felt like a long cold lonely winter. This winter season of life has caused me to re-evaluate, make changes, and think more positively. Winter's are not easy seasons, and it makes sense that winters of the soul would be challenging too. In the end, spring does come around with buds forming on trees and birds flying back to their northern homes. I've been gifted this life in this specific way and I need to use it to the best of my abilities.

It occurred to me that I used to talk with an old coworker about my dreams of an art studio. I used to think that it would be a building out in the back of my yard, but it's even closer. It's inside my home. Not many can say that they have their very own studio. I've been calling it my 'art room', because I never felt accomplished enough to warrant the title of 'studio'. It's time to embrace what it really is to me. It's my studio, my creative space where I dig up what's deep inside and transfer it to paper or canvas.

Thanks to the ease of internet and social media, if there's one thing I've learned about art it's that you don't need to be a university of fine arts graduate to be considered a painter. There are self taught artists who are doing amazing things with their gift. The common thread that runs thru both is what runs thru me too, we all experience fear. But, you do the work anyway. Just because I feel some fear and uncertainty, it doesn't mean that I sit down and give up, hell no! I ask questions, and I learn, just like everyone else.

Things are shifting and turning. Seeds are being planted.

Where I used to feel chaos, I now feel hope.

Namaste friends.

3.14.2016

feeling stressed.

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I've been thinking about my last post and the new things that I have added to my life. It wasn't until I typed them down and read them that I realized just how many new things there are.

During the day I don't feel like I'm doing anything or getting anywhere. I constantly feel like I'm wasting my precious time, and in turn, wasting my life. Because of this feeling I have filled my days full, not allowing myself a moments rest to sit back and lounge. And if I do sit for a moment, it's not without a time limit before I need to get up and start checking off my list again.

I work 40 hours a week. I am up most nights at 3am, 4am, 5am, before my alarm goes off at 5:30am. During my work day I am thinking about what I need to accomplish that night in order to feel satisfied. I pretty much race thru my day focusing on 3:30pm when I get to go home so I can start tackling my to-do list.

I'm stressing myself out.

Many things about myself are being brought to the surface. This not wanting to have a baby thing shouldn't be as hard as it sounds. I don't want to have a baby. Simple enough to understand. But the guilt that I feel because of that eats away at me daily, and has for years. Because I am not dedicating my time to raising another human being I feel inadequate, unaccomplished, like I better come up with a valid and acceptable reason as to why I am choosing to not partake in this part of what 'life's all about'.

Due to where I live, and work schedules, I spend a lot of time alone. But I know with all of my being that having a baby would not make me feel like I have a purpose. I don't want that, and I never have. My sights have always been set on other things, and this guilt is standing in the way.

I want to use my time on this planet wisely.

It's taken me long enough to come back around to wanting to be an artist. This dream was taken away and for 15 years I have been struggling with that. Struggling with two big life choices at the same time while carrying on with my day is challenging to do, I'm getting no where, and it's just bringing me down.

I have accepted what I want for myself. I have made my choice. But for some reason, I need others to accept this of me too.

It's been a weird weekend of non-stop chatter brain, and many strange things are being brought to the light for me to face. I just needed to voice this, to get it out there as a way to heal and grow.

I'm also going to cut my to-do list back. As simple as these things are, I'm just one person, and it's impossible to fit everything in to one evening.

I am thoroughly enjoying playing in my sketchbook and will continue with that only when I feel called to do so. I am also hanging up my yoga mat for a while. Creating art and practicing yoga in the same small, tiny, room is not working. I need to tidy up my paints and move furniture around every time I want to unroll my mat. So for now, until I feel I need a break from my paints, I am going to focus on meditation. Hopefully some peace will help calm whatever it is within that is throwing my energy into a frenzy.

Namaste friends, and thanks for listening.

3.08.2016

a beginner at life.

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I've waited a long time to be on my path, and now that I'm here I can only start at the beginning. 

This beginning is long overdue and my patience with waiting has worn thin. I want to jump into all of the amazing ideas that are being presented to me, however, I cannot do that. Yet.

Despite my age, and where I'm at in life, I need to accept that I am a beginner. Spirit told me that I'm in the incubation stage. That's better than being in no stage at all. I know that I owe it to myself to take this time to play, explore, experiment, find what feels good.

We have just entered the third month of the year and I have already added many new things to my life. I'm keeping my house de-cluttered and tidy. Eating salads and fruit at work. Making homemade dog food. I meditate. Practice yoga. Write regularly about art/spirituality/life. I'm learning Spanish. Creating abstract art. Going to bed early. And reading.

When one works 40 hours a week it can be a challenge to add to your schedule, but I'm managing.

A yoga instructor in a recent video said, "Ultimately we are in charge of our own happiness."

That's huge, and for a person who wants to do everything, my 'beginner's' list gets longer and longer.

There are SO many things that I want in my life, and there are SO many things that I want to release as they no longer serve me.

I no longer want to hold onto my art school story. I want to realize fully in my being that the journey wasn't meant for me, that I am to go about it in a different way. I also want to accept that I may never be one of those amazing artists that I see on my Instagram feed. The ones who work full time from home as professional painters selling their art to collectors around the world. That may sound defeating, but it's honest, and true. Even tho it's an idea that I would love, I feel like I'm holding onto that idea toooooooooo tightly and it's causing more harm than good.

Only the Universe knows my destiny.

I'm going to slow it down and take things one day at a time, supporting and encouraging myself along the way.

Namaste.

3.06.2016

be the light, be the love.

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I've been having a lot of thoughts flow thru my head regarding love and what love is and what love means to me.

I was sitting next to my hubs last night as he watched one of those 'Xtreme Police Chase' videos and I began wondering why so many people in the world are angry.

Where did the love in their lives go? 

At what point during the evolution of society did love disappear?

I know that I am a being of light incarnated on this planet at this time for a greater purpose than what my 3D body 'thinks' I'm here for. To truly be a being of light I need to confront my issues surrounding love so that I may be of assistance in the evolution of human consciousness.

I understand the 3D meaning of love. I understand what loving a parent, sibling or partner means and feels like, but I haven't been so good at sending love to those who need it most. I'm talking about the negative people, the angry people, the people who need to make others feel small so that they feel good about themselves. Unfortunately, these people I can not stand.

People like this have affected me so much over the years both mentally and physically. At times it was all consuming and I spent my days tormented by their negative energy. Thanks to Gary Zukov's Seat of the Soul and Marianne Williamson's A Return to Love I am now aware of why some people are like this and how I can react to them.

With my new found knowledge I am ready to change my thinking. 

I am ready to step up and send love to all whom I come in contact with regardless of their actions towards me. I now know how to stay detached from their words and energy and not take anything that they say to me personally. I am ready to spread the energy of love around the planet and thru the Universe.

Peace, Love, and Namaste.

3.03.2016

still trying to find my flow.

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The more I follow astrology, the more I see and sense the planet's effects on me and my life. I wrote this post early this morning when I was still feeling the effects of yesterdays energy, topped with a really strange and disconcerting dream. By the afternoon the energy around and within me had shifted and I was feeling much more like my normal happy self. 

I wanted to share this post as I originally wrote it to show that all creatives have their down days.

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I think that this coming solar eclipse is already affecting my energy. Although it’s not so much my energy, but my thoughts. My ego is speaking loudly and almost constantly. Of course, none of what it’s saying is positive. It’s also causing anger to bubble up within me. I’ve been trying very hard to watch my thoughts and stay in a positive mindset, but them BAM!, yesterday happened and I’m questioning everything.

I consulted a few people that I follow online, they all confirmed that this is part of the process.

Something happened when I was trying to paint last night. It’s got me questioning why I’ve been clinging on to painting as if my life depended on it. As Kelly said in her horoscope video, right now the fire signs will be feeling the need to get up and go, but because we are in pisces, a water sign, not much is going to happen.

I’m looking at this in a deeper way.

Is painting really beneficial to me? Could I be using my energy in a better way? Is my path changing? Should I be releasing painting to make way for the new?

I realize this may sound like I’m being over dramatic, but there’s something happening here. 

I want to be a painter. I want to sell prints and originals, and I want to have gallery shows. But I’m feeling stuck with it, in all ways. To be honest, at times, I feel a call to writing. And if I’m really honest with myself, I think I’m holding on to painting to fill my long desire of attending art school. Maybe it didn’t happen for me back then for a reason. Just like it’s not happening now.

As I take a step back and read these words I can hear others thinking that I need to lighten up. I agree, I do. But I have an inner drive to push myself to create. It’s just that no matter what I create, it only seems to stay in the beginning phase and never progresses growing into more. Why?

I’ve been painting for three years now, and still feel unsure about my style. I haven’t found my voice with this medium. I haven't fallen into a comfortable groove with it. I do realize that people’s painting careers span decades, but I’m starting to wonder if I even understand this art form. 

I have no idea how to glide a brush across a canvas. All that my hand seems capable of is moving back and forth in a horizontal line, over and over and over. My eye wants everything to look ‘perfect’ so it instructs my hands to blend all colors into each other forming a smoothed out surface. 

More often than not I feel like I’m grasping at straws to make this work.

Somehow I have to remove the self-inflicted pressure from my creative process. 

I have to stop comparing my work and skill level to others and I have to start painting because it brings me joy. Maybe this means starting an art schedule where I dedicate specific amounts of time during the week to painting instead of trying to cram it into every single evening. Maybe this means taking a break from acrylics and trying watercolors. Maybe this means I should switch it up completely, put the paints aside and dig out my pastels. Maybe this means I should look back over my time with art and see what spoke to my heart the most over the years and focus on that.

Taking Kelly’s suggestion of tuning in to the repetitive messages, I see how I haven't been dedicating regular time to meditation and yoga. Having this creative fire within makes me automatically want to choose creating over time to myself sitting in silence and relaxing. But maybe that’s what my brain and body needs, some time to rest so that answers can be brought forth from my Higher Self.

Oy, what a day. Lots to think about.

Namaste.

3.02.2016

spiritual growth can be confusing.

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I don't know what the eff happened today.

What started off as a great morning where I was full of fresh ideas for future creative plans, quickly turned south and I was left wondering why I even bother with any thing that I pursue, creative or otherwise.

Yikes. And yes, it's been one of those days.

Reading KV's post late in the afternoon helped piece together why I began feeling this way. I think that I failed the lesson and jumped full force onto the low vibe bandwagon.

Then I saw a quote that said something like, "What your mind wants, your soul doesn't need." Which freaked me right out because at the time I was thinking about painting, feeling like I'm not getting anywhere with it. This caused an internal dialogue around painting, and if it's something that I'm trying to force, or if it's really part of my soul's calling.

I stepped up to my canvas tonight and made a disastrous mess. I mixed colors that I never use, bubble gum pink, periwinkle, and a gross baby sh*t yellow. WTF.

Nothing was flowing. Nothing felt right. Even holding the brush in my hand felt foreign, like I had never held a brush before. My brain was blank, it didn't know what to do at all. Everything felt wrong, even my go to playlist. I decided to end the struggle and as I walked out of my art room I glanced at some scribbles I created the other day out of paint, pastel, and charcoal. Those had more life and energy in them than this freaking painting.

Do you ever have days where you wonder why you even bother with projects? Some days I feel like I'm constantly keeping myself occupied with projects, but why? For what?

I wake up early in the morning, and the first thing I do is plan what I need to do that night. I haven't finished brushing my teeth and I've already got a self imposed quota to fill. I keep myself in this metaphorical hamster wheel, constantly running, constantly telling myself what I need to do that evening to feel fulfillment. I pressure myself to go go go til I am completely exhausted. I cause so much self pressure for things that are supposed to be relaxing.

Could today be some sort of shift in my creative pursuits as I walk my spiritual path? Or is this just a case of the planets lining up in a wonky way that causes havoc on human minds?

At this point, only the Universe knows.

Namaste.

3.01.2016

learning to paint for the process.

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I’m experiencing some much frustration with painting lately. For some reason I'm s.t.u.c.k. and am fighting with myself.

Questions keep going thru my head: What am I doing? Why can’t I figure this out? Why do I keep covering everything up in white paint??? 

Painting is my creative Everest. Abstract painting is my Everest on top of the Everest. Why I challenge myself so hard I don’t know(!), but it’s something that I want to accomplish. 

I want to develop my own style of painting. 

I credit Flora Bowley’s Brave Intuitive Painting book to helping me break free of the idea of what I thought painting was supposed to be. I followed her for a few years and am ready to dig up my own techniques.

Flora is very much a 'go with the flow' painter, and I was feeling that flow too until I decided to step away and try pursuing my own style. Now I'm stumped on what 'my own style' even means.

I’m drawn to learn how to paint abstract paintings because they leave me wondering, "How the heck did the artist do that!?!"  They exude a sense of freedom for me. I like the lack of images which allows each person their own journey as they connect with the painting.

My intention for my abstract painting process is to get back to childhood. It was then that I simply created to create. Children don’t question their work, or which color they are using, they just play

I want that.

I've been seeing a vision of myself painting. I'm standing in my art room in front of a large canvas. There is white paint on the canvas (there's that white paint again!) and a mellow light yellowish green. I'm surrounded in bright white light, and I look focused on creating. 

From this vision I know I will get there. Maybe there's some hurdles that I need to jump first, or maybe it's not quite the right time? 

I ask the Universe to help guide me thru this. Please bring me the tools and skills necessary for this artistic journey.

Last week I came across the Instagram account of Yumi Phillips. She too is on a painting journey. When I look at her work I feel such a mind release. I want to incorporate that mind release in my painting process. I want to paint for the process of painting, and not just for the end result.

Wishing you well along your creative adventures.

Namaste friends.