So many of us allow other people to squash our happiness and that can affect us in detrimental ways.
I am at a place in my life where I know stronger than ever the person that I am. I love how much I have come into myself, and the year has just begun. I see myself clearly and am no longer allowing others to poison my days. I do believe that everyone is entitled to their opinions, but no longer will their opinions make me question who I am. Thirty-one years of being trapped in the opinions of others is enough. I am eager to see where life takes me now that I stand strong in who I am.
I have had a productive day of letting go, cleaning up, and making space for the new. I have decided to make my art room multi-purposeful, getting rid of furniture and supplies that I don't use, to allow for a small meditation and yoga space as well. I love the energy in my art room. The copious amounts of cleansing sage has made the energy in that space uber light and inviting. I revamped the closet by removing the closet doors and creating a tiny meditation nook. I now have a place to hang my Ganesha tapestry, and can sit under it while listening to Tibetan singing bowl meditations. Ahhhhh. Peace.
I feel different. I feel centered. Calm.
For someone who has lived much of her life looking to others for approval and guidance, it's nice to hear my inner voice, to be connected to my higher self, to know that I don't have to turn to anyone else for approval or guidance. I highly recommend y'all check out Gary Zukov's Seat of the Soul. It's been an amazing read, and again, is a book that came to me at the right time. It's helped me to understand myself and others, and has helped me to ground, and center. Superb.
It's been weeks since I've turned my music up loud and painted. I'm not able to create during Mercury Retrogrades, or their shadow periods. I used to find this frustrating, feeling that I wasn't using my time wisely. I welcome them now, it's a chance for me to step away from the canvas and reflect.
For the past few years I have been learning from other artists online, trying out their techniques, opening my eyes to all the different possibilities of painting styles. I didn't have any formal training in painting and as open-minded as I am, I put painting in a box. I believed that there was a 'right' way to paint and that it required formal education and a fine arts degree. Wow was I ever wrong!
I feel happiness with the pieces I have created, however, I've also felt that they were practice pieces, not fully created in 'my' style. I feel my style is almost ready to boil up to the surface and reworking my art room this weekend was of the utmost importance so that it would be ready to go when I heard the call to paint.
I've been seeing visions of myself at the canvas, making marks, twirling the paintbrush. I sense a new found calmness with my process, a certainty, a confidence, a trust.
Have a good day friends, wishing you well.