I've always been someone who ponders. Ponders EVERYTHING. How geese know when to start flying south for the winter. The vastness of the universe. The shear joy that a new parent feels when they meet their child for the first time.
I ponder it all.
This non-stop pondering isn't always easy. Solo ponderings can consume me. I'm a thinker, I just can't help it.
Join another ponderer and I together and I experience pure bliss.
Because I believe that all things in life when broken down to their most simplest form are energy, I can literally feel my thoughts leaving my brain and joining the energy waves out there in the world, in the universe. As I'm furthering along my spiritual path I am learning to trust more and more in the energy vibrations that I am putting out into the universe, knowing that my desires will come to me in divine timing. Opening up intuitively allows me at times to foresee what's going to happen down the road and this foresight as much as I love it, also leaves me in a state of limbo.
Living in limbo is a challenge. I wouldn't say it's hard, but it is challenging when fear starts to creep in to dialog with self, ignore the negative feelings brought forth from ego, and TRUST in what my guide is showing me.
I'm being told that 2018/2019 will be a big year for me. Much change. A time when the seeds of thought that I am planting now will start to burst forth from the warm universal soil, reaching their bright green leaves towards the magnificent sun, materializing in the life that I dream of and want for myself.
2018/2019 is three to four years away, how on earth am I supposed to stay confident and most importantly grounded when I have been shown so much?
Right now I am working on deep breathing when moments of anxiety appear. Lavender essential oil is constantly within reach to calm my energy, and I am taking many moments thru the day to visualize what I want my life to look like along with FEELING what that life feels like. Feeling my dream life as tho it is occurring right now re-enforces and sends out stronger energy to the universe so that the pieces may be put in place for me to have all that I desire.
This is serious business.
Being a dreamer means I am heavily using my right brain and rarely do I tap into my left brain, leaving me at times, lacking in logic. However, I choose to look at this as a stage along my journey as I progress down my intuitive path.
The energy radiating from my crown chakra is so intense that I can feel the heat resonating from the top of my head. I have moments at work where I type with one hand, as the other is attop my head trying to 'close my gate', close my direct link to source. I am fully connected to my guide(s) and the universe, and even tho at times I feel extremely ungrounded, as tho I am floating thru space, I continue to allow this because it is part of the intuitive growth process.
For years I have been telling people that I would love, just for one day, to be like ordinary people. To feel 'closed' off from the universe. A mini break from feeling things so intensely, allowing me to go about my one day in my own little bubble. I recently discussed this with an Aquarius friend of mine and he said,''Hell no, never be ordinary!"
For a week I've thought about this, and he's right. As challenging as having an overactive mind can be, I love this shit. I purely love it.
I just can't submit to small talk, no matter how hard I try. I don't care to ask you what you did this weekend, I want to discuss your beliefs and why you believe them. I want to know the deep inner workings of your mind and soul. I want to get out of you the things that you don't discuss with anyone else.
I want to know the REAL you.
In return you will know the REAL me. Together we will bring each other a comfort, a safe and sacred space that is created when our minds, hearts, and souls connect.
Fuck the ordinary people. Let's share. Let's connect.
I'm willing to listen.